1.8.12 - Awkward

Heyy guys,

That awkward moment when...Yeah, I got nothing. Wanna know why? BECAUSE EVERY SINGLE POSSIBLE AWKWARD MOMENT HAS ALREADY BEEN POSTED ON FACEBOOK OR TWEETED OR WHATEVER. Not that I have a Twitter. Well I think I do, but I don't remember my @whatever or my password. #idontgetit.

I really don't get it. Twitter, I mean. I think I started using it, but I had no idea what was going on and I just sorta gave up. Probably cuz I had no idea what I was doing. And just so you know, hashtags don't work on Facebook. Just throwing that out there.

So we bought a new scale. For weighing people, not food. We didn't get one of those grocery store scales for weighing how much your bananas weigh. Do bananas get weighed? But anyways, it's digital. Pretty cool right? Advanced technology like that just blows my mind. What's next, digital clocks?

If you can't tell, I was being sarcastic. About the digital technology, not the scale. We did get a scale, but not a banana one. I just found out that most people can't tell when I'm kidding or not. I guess I better plan out all the jokes I'm going to tell everyday to make sure that their obvious enough. That was sarcasm. Was that obvious enough? This is like Inception. Maybe I just told a joke about planning out to make a joke about planning out my jokes about planning jokes. Definately like Inception. Just completely different, that's all.

Okay, so I wrote the best essay in the world for school. It's about eating too much French bread and throwing up. But I made it seem like it taught me a life lesson about listening to my parents. If that's not a good essay, I just give up on life.

You know what's awkward? Seeing someone waving at you and you wave back, only to awkwardly realize that they're waving at someone else. At that point, I'm just like, "Yup, just fixing my hair, not waving. I'm just lifting my hand to run it through my hair. Nothing to see here." The same thing goes for when someone says "hi" to you, but they're not saying it to you. Just awkwardly look behind them and act like you were talking to someone else. I give good advice.

That awkward moment when you run out of things to say.

xoxo,

Trisha

1.4.12 - 2012

Heyy guys,

So as we all know, we're going to die. Sorry about that. It's not my fault. But it's inevitable! The Mayans predicted it! Obviously they intentionally made their calendar end so that we would be warned about the end of the world. They were trying to save us. They clearly had some sort of psychic abilities that allowed them to see into the future and find out the exact date that the world is going to end. They are definitely, without a doubt, right. People these days are just in denial. We need to buy those expensive survival kits that will for sure save us while the Earth is destroyed by earthquakes, volcanoes, floods, etc. Food and blankets will totally make us immune to all the disasters.

So if the Mayans were so psychic, why aren't we? Technically, everyone has psychic abilities to some extent. But it's something that you need to work on and practice. Trust me, I've done a ton of research. Ever since I read Dark Visions by L.J. Smith, I've been obsessed with psychic abilities. Telepathy, telekinesis, clairvoyance, everything. One day, I'm going to be able to mentally communicate with others and move things with my mind. But that might be a little creepy. The mental communication part, not the moving things with my mind part. That would just be cool.

One day when I'm feeling creative, I'm going to cover a binder or folder with song quotes. It's too bad I'm not in choir because then it would sort of tie into the class. I'm not sure how a math teacher would react if I did that.

Okay, so I was watching Rachel vs. Guy Celebrity Cookoff on Food Network and one of the celebrities was Joey Fatone or something along those lines. I know his name was Joey. But I saw him and I was like, "OMG HE PLAYED THAT BASEBALL PLAYER GUY ON HANNAH MONTANA!!!" I was super excited. It's almost pathetic. Actually, it is pathetic. Not even almost. Especially since I've seen every single episode of Hannah Montana.

Not that I watch Disney Channel but...the new shows all suck. I'm just saying.

Some people have weird hobbies. Like collecting pink flamingos. I saw a yard one time that was completely covered in pink plastic flamingos. Like, 100 of them, I'm not even kidding. That's an addiction if I've ever seen one. And I haven't. But I've seen promos for My Strange Addiction on TLC.

You know how celebrities always have their perfume and nail polish (Justin Bieber) and clothing lines? Well, when I become a rich and famous actress (ha), I'm going to have my own line of hair care products. Shampoo, conditioner, hairspray, gel, shine spray, etc. And everything will smell like berries or citrus. Those are my favorite.

xoxo,

Trisha

　

1.2.12 - Procrastination

Heyy guys,

So, I have this amazing habit. It's called procrastination. And compulsive lying. But in my world, they're pretty much the same thing (sometimes). So this winter break, I "did homework" everyday. Well, that's what I told my mom while she lectured me about doing homework. She has this crazy idea that school comes first. I bet it's one of those strange things that they teach you in college, which I talked about yesterday. But I didn't do ANY homework whatsoever. I mostly ate food and watched YouTube videos. I have such an exciting social life. But procrastination is my talent, you know? While all those like, music prodigies and allstar athletes are doing whatever, I'm perfecting the art of procrastination. I'll make sure to put it on my college applications. "I posess many highly tuned skills and talents, the best of which being the fine art of procrastination." That'll get me into Harvard for sure.

Okay, so the mascots for the 2012 Olympics creep me out. Like, a lot. They're these weird cyclops/giraffe/alien hybrids and I'm pretty sure McDonalds made a Happy Meal toy out of them. If they make stuffed animals out of them, I'm never buying one because I don't really want a cyclops/giraffe/alien hybrid watching be sleep.

I want a vuvuzela really bad. I don't get why everyone says their annoying. They're like...the most enchanting, elegant, beautiful instruments in the world. Jkay all the way. But I do love them but my parents say no because they're too, quote, "annoying." Well, my parents are annoying. They should get made into vuvuzelas. They'll fit right in with the other vuvuzelas. But when I buy a vuvuzela, I'm not picking my parents. That would be too much.

Jamba Juice is my absolute favorite smoothie place in the world. I've only had the Razzmatazz smoothie, but it's so good that I get it everytime. I love how they have the calorie amount. Not that I count calories. I'm just exemely aware of them. I need to hit that 10,000 calories a day mark.

I feel like it would be so awkward if your name was a real word. My dad's name is Mark, and mark is such a common word. Wouldn't it be weird to hear it all the time? I always hear the "trish" in nutritional and that almost makes me jump. You know what's weird? Even when I'm totally not paying attention when people are having a conversation or I don't even hear them talking at all, if I hear my name I'll like, whip around and be like, "I heard my name." It's the same thing when I'm sleeping. You can talk and talk (quietly) and I won't even stir. But the second I hear my name, BOOM. I wake up. Weird.

xoxo,

Trisha

1.1.12 - New Year

Heyy guys,

So it's 2012 now! I didn't even realize it was midnight until people started posting on Facebook. I swear, I hear about everything on Facebook before I hear about it anywhere else. How do people find things out in the first place? They must watch the news or something. People should really stop watching the news. It just pollutes their mind with strange ideas. Just like college does. The moral of the story - don't go to college. It will pollute your mind. (:

My New Year's resolution for years and years has been to stop biting my nails. It's a gross, horrible, embarrassing habit, but I CAN'T STOP. So I just give up. Nothing works. My new resolution is to stop being a pig and stop eating Cheez-Its all the time. I'm going to eat s'mores instead. Obviously a healthier choice. Actually, all junk food is a healthy choice. My reasoning is that if something tastes good, it's good for you because eating it will make you happy, therefore reducing anxiety and depression and improving your mental health. And making you slim and toned. Compared to a hippo.

Okay, so what's the deal with junk food making you fat? It's like all of a sudden, eating makes you obese and you die. I bet the parents of starving kids would love to have high fat, high calorie foods to give their kids. I thought food was meant for survival, but all these idiot doctors are all like, "Try to eat a low calorie diet, with plenty of fruits and vegetables and no processed, high fat foods." Well, excuse me for wanting to eat fatty foods. Do you want me to die while I hibernate this winter? All of the bears get to stuff their faces all they want because they "need energy for the winter." I need energy and food too! I need energy to sleep all winter, you know. It's no walk in the park. Michael Phelps gets to eat a lot, so I should too. Sleeping is just as tiring as swimming.

The summer Olympics are this year! I feel so weird because the 2008 Olympics seem so long ago, but it also seems like they just happened. 4. Years. I was going into 7th grade, just finished my first year of middle school. I totally still remember watching those Olympics and I'm kind of sad because I only have 3 more years left of being a kid. This is making me sad, so I'm moving on to the exciting stuff. I canNOT wait to watch gymnastics! There's a pretty good group of girls who are super likely to go to London, but they just don't really meet up to Shawn Johnson and Nastia Liukin's ability levels. It's still going to be great, though. And synchro is going to be sweet too. I don't think I've ever watched synchro in the Olympics, seeing as the last Olympics happened before I started synchro and I still thought that it was a stupid sport with dancing in the water. And MICHAEL PHELPS. He's gotta be under a lot of pressure to do well (which he will since he's amazing). Sometimes he does timed 10,000s during his practices. I think I would kill myself if I had to do that.

Okay, so I'm like, in love with watching TLC. They have the best shows like Toddlers and Tiaras and Extreme Couponing and that show where they pick out wedding dresses. My baby sister Chanel who's 2 years old said that she wanted to do beauty pageants and wear pretty dresses. The girls on the show are just adorable. But some of them are real brats (with southern accents. That just makes it worse). But I really don't understand how those moms can't seem to figure out how to raise a daughter. I mean seriously, have they never heard of hitting their kids as discipline? I'm totally kidding. Only Asian parents and child abusers do that. Although, they're pretty much the same thing.

I also love watching The Haunted on Animal Planet. It scares me so bad but it's so addicting to watch. I completely believe in ghosts and stuff, so I get scared at night when I go to bed. I mean...pshhh I'm not scared of some stupid ghost! Ghosts should be scared of me. Yeah.

xoxo,

Trisha